mmmm meat candy not

17 05 2010

A co-worker of mine has been away in China for the past couple of weeks and came back to work yesterday.

We always bring back some sort of food stuff from trips and it has recently become an unofficial contest to see who can bring in the strangest thing.

I think we might have a winner or at least an incredibly strong front runner.

Chinese meat candies.

I like meat, I like candy and I like Chinese food so how bad can they be.

Well I will tell you exactly how bad they can be, it was a little bit like eating a sweaty sock full of garlic and chopped meat that had been crushed up into a tiny shite coloured cube mmmm delicious.

There was a spicy beef flavoured cube, a ginger pork flavoured cube and one which I actually believe to have been a lump of shrimp paste dusted in sugar and wrapped in fancy paper.

The pork and the beef were bad enough but the shrimp one was truly fishalicious, I was tasting that bad mother funker for about 3 hours afterwards.

If you ever find yourself with a pressing need to vomit you could do far worse then pop a few of these cubes of gastro-intestinal death.

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Old before my time

11 05 2010

I have known for a while now that I am basically a much older man trapped in a younger mans body, the proof has been there for everyone to see for a number of years (some would say since birth!)

But last night I hit new lofty peaks of old man behaviour.

This goes beyong pickling my own onions or thinking it would be fun to visit a different supermarket, far beyond.

I spent nearly 2 solid hours looking at walking stick websites, not buying an actual walking stick you understand but rather looking at walking stick components so that I might make my own.

I was probably far more happy than a man in his mid 20’s should be on discovering a site that would sell me ram’s horn in a variety of shapes and sizes not to mention black buffalo horn.

But it’s not all doom and gloom at least I will have pickled onions to eat whilst im sitting outside in a shed whittling bits of wood and horn until they form a walking stick that I have precisely zero use for.





I hate my job

3 05 2010

so it is 7 am and I am in work.

Nothing new there you might think, I am always in work at 7 am, quite often writing these blogs!

Well today is different it is the May bank holiday and as such there are only 3 people in the office and of course I am one of them, not only that but I have been told I have to work overtime.

This wouldn’t be a huge problem to me normally, in fact it isn’t really getting in the way of any plans today but it is the principal that is bothering me.

You see I was also here on Good Friday and Easter Monday, before that I was here on St Patrick’s Day, same for New Year’s Day, St Stephen’s day (boxing day back home) and Christmas Eve; in fact I haven’t had a bank holiday off since January 2008 .

I don’t want to sound bitter but some of my colleagues get every stinking bank holiday off and a whole bunch of public holidays that we don’t even really have an entitlement to.

When I have quizzed this in the past I have been told that it is because they are married or have kids etc. Well this argument unravels a little bit when you take into account that I have a longterm partner and she has a kid.

Geewizz I didn’t realise I was working for the Catholic Church here, at least their draconian views have some sort of historical precedent.

Happy fucking May Day





Ash Cloud Blues pt 2 – The Aftermath

26 04 2010

Having finally made it back home I have today made my somewhat less than triumphant return to work.

You would think that this would be pretty unremarkable, thousands of people do this everyday all over the world and certainly compared to the journey to and from home it is unremarkable.

But there is a problem; I opened my outlook account and there in front of me were 784 emails ?!?!? WTF I was only gone from work for 5 business days.

Then I realised what had happened, it only took me the first dozen or so emails to work it out…none of my co-workers did anything whilst I was away.

Now I don’t mean that there was work that was specifically mine and they didn’t do it, that would be fine. I mean they did nothing, nada, zilch, zip.

We have access to a shared inbox that all new work requests come through to, none had been taken since I had left the office, some had even been marked with a little flag saying “Tom”….Well I opened them and had a look and guess what there was NOTHING that required  my personal attention, every single last one of my co-workers could have dealt with all of the emails that were in there.

I guess in summary I only have one thing to say on the matter

My co-workers are all giant douche bags of the highest order








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