Rack Of Doom

17 06 2012

Meet Claire Smedley, a 27 year-old British woman from Blackpool, who almost killed her boyfriend.

She didn’t try to stab him because he was cheating on her or anything to that effect.

No, instead Claire nearly suffocated then lover Michael with her 40LL boobs.
The couple were fooling around with her breasts in his face when all of a sudden Smedley realized Michael–the boyfriend wasn’t breathing. Naturally, she panicked. Luckily for her, he came to after a second. When asked about his near-demise, Michael had this to say:

“I did think my time had come. I tried to slap her on her arm to get her to stop and get off me but I think she misread the signals. The next thing I knew she was sitting over me asking if I was all right. I must have blacked out. It was pretty hair-raising.”

The two broke up after the near-death experience because Michael was turned off by sex from then on.

I don’t know about you but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say a lot of guys would be perfectly happy if they knew there last moments would be spent with their face in some woman’s tits….

The mum of three makes the most of her massive assets by modelling under the name “Madison Blush”





Martin Freeman to play Bilbo Baggins

1 11 2010

I am  a little behind the times on this as I have been up the walls recently and haven’t been looking at the entertainment news as much as I normally would so

But there it was in black and white Martin Freeman (no relation to Morgan) of The Office fame is to play Bilbo Baggins in the upcoming Hoobbit movie!!!.

Personally I think that he will be perfect for the role, not only is he English and I have always visualised Hobbits as being essentially fat little Englishmen, but he looks exactly like a Hobbit!

This is going to be a really big step in the right direction for Freeman, who has come a long, long way from his days as Tim in The Office or as John; the actor who is filming a sex scene with the oh so appealing Joanna Page of Gavin and Stacey fame in Love Actually.

I am now even more excited about these films then I was previously and that was fairly excited let me tell you! As much as I love the Lord of the Rings and have read it far more times then I should probably admit to the Hobbit has always held a special place in my heart.

I had always enjoyed reading, even as a small child but it was Tolkien’s story about a Hobbit that lived in a hole in the ground and the adventures that he had that really started my life long love of fantasy books.





Dumbest Yahoo Answers questions ever

25 10 2010

I was trawling through the internet last night and came across some particularly stupid questions from Yahoo Answers (I know there are a ton to choose from!)

 

Here are a few of my favourites





Going Solo

10 05 2010

I ditched my guild.

Yesterday I finally decided that enough was enough and that I was going solo.

I have been considering this course of action for a while, it’s not that I am a solitary gamer or that I don’t like the social aspect of being in a guild (just ask my kinmates in LOTRO) but I do have certain standards of what I deem to be acceptable behaviour.

I’m not saying that I’m a saint or that I expect anyone else to be one but there are limits to what I think is tolerable or acceptable.

I first realised I might have issues with my new guild when I first partied up with some of them; usually when you run with a party made up of guild members things are pretty polished because they know how to work together, not so in this case, they bickered all the time.

I don’t just mean a little bit of light hearted banter as you would get between friends I mean a childish full on argument, this person was a noob, your gears shit blah blah blah blah it was never ending.

I could have over looked this if they were actually any good at playing the game, alas this was also beyond their meagre capabilities.

There were two paladins in the group me and one other who on the face of things was a healadin, it would be fair to assume that there would be two different auras up and that all party members would get two buffs, one from each. I had buffed myself with BoM (blessing of might)  and asked the healerdin for BoK (blessing of kings).

The answer I got back in chat was a question mark, so I thought ok maybe he doesnt use silly little terms like bok and bom and so I asked for blessing of kings in full instead, again all I got back was ?

Turns out not only did he not know what I was on about but he didnt have a blessing, a seal or an aura up at all?!?!?! These are the tools of a paladins trade, how on Azeroth can you reach level 23 without knowing what these are and using them accordingly?

The same level of immaturity and general noobness when it comes to WOW was also displayed regularly in guild chat so for most of the time I just ignored the worst culprits and didn’t really pay attention to what was being said at all.

Now to my mind thats not fun, I don’t join a guild in order to have to ignore everyone in the chat list other than my alts, I want to group up, help one another, boost people through tough areas of the game etc etc, not trudge around by myself looking for pugs because my guildees are noob douche bags.

So I tried again, I threw myself into guild life with a renewed vigour, I managed to trick myself into thinking that maybe I am just a stick in the mud and should lighten up and that maybe if I just cut loose it would all turn out to be fun in the end.

Fuck me was I wrong.

Yesterday evening I was farming pages in Stranglethorn waiting to get a slot for Zul Farrak and due to the mind numbing drudgery of any farming or grinding I had half an eye on guild chat.

I suddenly noticed that the chat had steered away from who wanted what end game gear when they hit 80 to a far more lewd chat about their various sexual conquests, or judging by how they act lack of.

After reading the usual drivel from a 22 stone myopic gamer who lives in his parents basement about how he lost his virginity to twins when he was 12 and they “totally lezzed off together as well” I was already slightly nauseous and had endured just about as much stupid bravado and bull shit as I can take…things got worse and I’m not talking about just a little bit blue or stupid or whatever.

They started asking people who weren’t actively lying about their made up sexual experiences why they weren’t joining in and generally barracking them about being virgins or gay and all sorts of other childish crap.

Well one guildee that they asked replied by saying that yes she was a virgin and certainly wasn’t ashamed of it as she is a 17 year old girl. The response to this was that they didn’t believe she was a girl (common complaint in wow). She assured them that she was to which she was asked to prove it, they weren’t happy with the idea that she speak to them on vent and that they could all hear that she was girl no this wasn’t proof enough.

They asked her to add them on msn and to strip on cam to prove she was a girl, when she said no they called her a lesbian and started barracking her further.

What sort of dumbass sick fucks think this sort of thing is acceptable or funny. I know for a fact that a lot of people in the guild are a lot younger than me but even so this is just out and out offensive. Needless to say I filed a complaint and left straight away.








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