John Terry on Jeremy Kyle Show

12 07 2012

I laughed so much I just had to share with all you good, good people.

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Talking about my generation….

9 07 2012

  3 DEAD

  9 STABBED

1 MISSING

There are plenty of events I can think of that might give rise to such headlines, war, rioting, civil disobedience etc etc

But never,even in my wildest dreams would it have occurred to me that I might have cause to be writing this about a concert.  Not I hasten to add a 7 day biker festival someplace in the middle of nowhere but a one-off concert in the Phoenix Park in Dublin.

Saturday night saw Snoop Dogg, Tinie Tempah,Calvin Harris and Swedish House Mafia take to the stage in what for around 50,000 fans should have been a fantastic night.

Instead 3 men in their teens and early twenties are now dead as a result of drug overdose. One of the men in his early 20s became ill and sought medical assistance inside the concert arena as early as 7pm.

There were 9 separate incidents of stabbing including one incident where a 28 year-old concert goer from the Isle of Mann was stabbed 5 times causing severe injuries to his head and chest including damage to his liver. His assault was unprovoked.

These attention grabbing incidents are to say nothing of the dozens of eye witness reports of people being bottled and beaten throughout the evening with fights, scuffles and in one case an 8 man brawl breaking out both in and outside of the venue.

Meanwhile Gardai are seeking information regarding 19 year-old Aoife Finan from Cobh who has been missing since the 11pm on the night of the concert.

Drug use was rampant and blatant, often taking place in full view of event staff, security and Garda alike. On the radio this evening one concert goer reported that as bouncers were handing out free glasses of water to crowds at the crush barrier they were openly being used to knock back pills.
Much like at any Irish event massive amounts of alcohol were consumed to excess and underage drinking was rife. This of course lead to people vomiting, urinating and even defecating in full public view without care or consequence.

According to a report in the The Evening Herald and numerous other first hand accounts the number of people openly engaged in sex acts was staggering, there are even several reports of people having full blown intercourse as a sort of sideshow to the main event.

What the fuck is wrong with people?!?!?!?

The majority of the crowd were aged from late teens to late twenties, this is the same demographic I fall into, I grew up and went to school with them. I am one of them.

Except I’m not.

I just can’t fathom it out, I really can’t. I go to concerts, I go down the pub with friends or to a nightclub, I drink, hell sometimes I get drunk .)

I’m not claiming to be an angel, I’m not. I am sure there are several people who crossed paths with me in my younger day when I was working as a bouncer who can well remember ending up on the wrong end of a well aimed right hook if they were acting the maggot.

There have always been lads who drank too much and got a bit out of hand or the two fellas who just can’t stand each other and go at it after a night out. There always will be.

But the sort of scenes witnessed at Phoenix Park the other night are just not right. In fact they are very, very wrong.
It makes a terrible statement about ‘my generation’, reinforces all sorts of negative stereotypes and raises an awful lot of questions:

What possesses people to act like this? Where were the police and what were they doing? Why the hell weren’t security searching people as they went in? – Somehow I feel that answers will be, as ever, sadly lacking.

I would love to say this is an isolated event, that things like this rarely happen. That would be a lie though wouldn’t it. You only have to look at the riots in the UK last year to see the sort of common criminality which on the face of things is endemic amongst young people today.

Maybe they are disenfranchised, maybe they are the product of poor schooling, bad parenting or are symptomatic of a culture which seems to revel in sex, violence and excess.

Whichever it is I can tell you one thing for free. I want nothing to do with any of it.

Bring on the Zombie apocalypse, at least we will know where we stand then.





Bye bye ‘King’ Kenny

16 05 2012

Well it would seem that the reign of “King Kenny” has   not been quite the roaring success that ‘Pool fans were hoping for.

A Carling cup win and the runner up spot in the FA cup haven’t really made up for a disappointing 8th place finish in the Premiership.

Kenny was summoned to Boston to account for the clubs poor showing and after a meeting today where his future was left unclear it is being widely reported that Kenny will be leaving the club immediately.

Assuming that the scouse saviour  does indeed end up out in the cold my money would be on Roberto Martinez to take the reins.





Worst day ever.

11 08 2010

I am sitting here in a state of total and utter shock.

Today is possibly the worst day ever, on a personal level at least.

It started normally enough, but then again day’s like this have a way of creeping up on you when you least expect it.

I had left my girlfriends and arrived at work as normal without any hassles what so ever, I would almost go so far as to say I hadn’t a care in the world. That all changed abruptly about an hour ago…

I had just taken a much needed break after having slaved away for 2.5 hours already and decided to check my email… big mistake.

My email and I have always been on fairly good terms, it doesn’t act as the harbinger of doom and I don’t pick up my tower case and boot it back to the stone age via an upstairs window, as you can see we had an arrangement, not anymore.

I was brought to my knees this morning on reading an email from a lady called Trisha, now I have never met Trisha or spoken to her before but she was writing to me from my bank in South Africa in relation to my account and I have no reason to disbelieve her.

It turns out that I have been rather remiss in keeping track of my finances, as a result my debit card with a balance of $1 million has expired and my funds have been frozen.

Well I was livid, I rely on this money hidden away on the other side of the world to keep me safe and secure in my old age or as a slush fund in case of a rainy day. How dare they freeze my funds just because my card has expired.

Luckily Trisha is an angel in disguise and had already looked into what I need to do to rectify the situation, she has sorted out all the paperwork I need to fill in to reactivate my account and can email it over to me directly, all I need to do is fill it out and send a copy of my passport and one hundred pounds to cover the admin fee. Boy was I ever relieved, the idea of losing this money literally had me breaking out in hives.

This was only the start of my bad day, It hadn’t occurred to me that it could worsen but it has, exponentially.

There was an email from my godmother, not that odd an occurrence, but normally she doesn’t call me dear friend so I figured straight away that something was up.

On reading the email I found out that something terrible has transpired and by terrible I mean dreadful.

My godparents and their four young children were the victims of a terrible ordeal, an ordeal that took place in the city that I dare to call home.

They were robbed at gun point in broad daylight. Some awful scumbag criminal types preyed on them because they were tourists, they threatened them with pistols and took all of their money, mobile phones and passports.

As if this wasn’t traumatic enough for them the hotel they are staying in has refused to let them leave without the bill being paid in full and the embassy is proving to be of no help to them at all.

Obviously I was really shaken up by this and wanted to help them in anyway I can so I followed the instructions in the email and wired them a couple of hundred euros to try and help them pay for food and accomodation etc.

All the time I was getting angrier and angrier about the scum that carried this out, obviously they are very clever and organised and must have followed the family for days in order to ascertain that they were tourists as their native London accents and intimate knowledge of the area must have nearly thrown them off on several occasions.

Getting more and more panicked about their safety I decided to call my godfathers parents who live in London to find out what the story was and also to find out why they hadn’t been able to do anything to help out their family.

Strangely not only is everyone ok but my godparents are safely at home in their huge mansion in Florida that they moved to about 5/6 years ago, obviously this set me thinking, how could they get home so soon? Had they received my money I sent etc…

Oh wait it was all a hoax…. I feel even worse now, how could this happen? There must have been some sort of mistake…. the internet wouldn’t let this happen would it? Surely no one would be sick and evil enough to use the power of the web for something other than good?

So here I am penniless, disillusioned and alone, still at least there is $1million dollars waiting for me in South Africa








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