Arsenal announce Nigerian friendly opponents

28 06 2012

In a completely unexpected move Arsenal have finally announced their mystery opponents for their pre-season stop over in Nigeria.

It has long been rumoured that the Gunners would line up against an international team when they take to the pitch at Nigeria’s Abuja National Stadium on 5th August but until today exactly who that would be has been shrouded in secrecy.

Well brace yourselves, it has now been revealed that Arsenal will be playing Nigeria.

Now I never saw that one coming, did you?

The visit will represent the first time the Gunners have travelled to Africa since Arsene Wenger took charge in 1996 and forms the concluding leg of the 2012 Asia tour. The club’s previous match on the continent, a 2-0 win over Manchester United, took place in South Africa in July, 1993.

The “Super Eagles”, currently ranked 60th in the world, should make for an exciting challenge for Arsenal with Stephen Keshi’s side brimming with talent plying their trade across Europe.

Speaking about the fixture, David Omigie of organisers DanJan Sports revealed:

“The NFF have agreed that the country will present a strong side as coach Stephen Keshi continues his development process.

“The Arsenal manager [Arsene Wenger] will also use this game to showcase his full squad for the 2012/2013 football season.”

Arsenal’s visit represents a great opportunity for the club’s burgeoning support in west Africa to watch their heroes in the flesh for the first time and lays the groundwork for expanding the club’s brand across the globe.

In other Earth shattering news: water is found to be wet and John Terry shocks World media by announcing that he is a wife shagging racist!





Clonakilty floods – update

28 06 2012

Just popped down into Clonakilty town to check on the house now that the water has finally subsided.

Well it is officially a mess. Seems that the flood water came  about 1.25 metres up the wall and went in the front door and out the back.

Early to try and work it all out but on the face of it we have lost a laptop, xbox 360 elite, LCD TV, DVD player,  2 x leather couches, 1 leather lazy boy, about 4 packing cases of boxes, a hoover(random I know) Fridge Freezer, tumble dryer,electic oven, dishwasher and washing machine from the house.

From the garage we have seen the last of two beds plus mattresses, another fridge freezer, some assorted soft furnishings and all our Christmas decorations.

Oh and as if that isn’t bad enough, Mum’s car is completely trashed. The water went all the way to the headrests s all of the interior is quite frankly fucked. There is thick, smelly silt everywhere, especially in the engine bay.
I popped the air intake open and the inlet manifold is just clogged with the stuff…good times.

Here is another piccy of the town this morning as taken from by the Texaco

 





Clonakilty Flooding 2012

28 06 2012

I woke up at 5 this morning to a text from my Mum, she was sat in her bedroom with our dog looking out the window and crying.

The reason for her early morning tears, our house had flooded.

View from our house this am

She woke up to the dog making an odd sound and found it swimming around in the hallway with dirty water halfway up the stairs, what a way to start a Thursday.

It isn’t just the house that is ruined, her car which was parked outside is also a write off.

Still at least she can take consolation in the fact that she isn’t alone. Over 70mm of rain fell on parts of Cork last night and there is no access in or out of Clonakilty or Douglas due to over 4ft of flooding. According to an ESB spokesman there are 13,000 homes without electricity at the moment.





Euro 2012 Semi Final preview

27 06 2012

Well that is that then, the quarter finals are now over and it is time to look on towards the next round of the competition.

From my point of view things went pretty much as expected…

Sadly France didn’t manage to overcome Spain, no surprise really when you see how much discord there is in the squad.

If the French ever want to get back to winning ways then something needs to change. Lets face it they have the talent, there are some very good players in the side, what they seem to lack is any sort of cohesion and desire to do well for each other.

Let’s look at chinless twat Samir Nasri as an example. He is a gifted player, as much as it pains me to say it, but as an example of a hard working team member he leaves a lot to be desired. When coming on as a sub the other night his whole attitude just screamed apathy.
Fair enough he thought he should have started, well you didn’t Samir old chum, deal with it, get over and show the bosswhy you should be the first name on the team sheet.

France aren’t alone in this, you only have to take a look at Holland’s tournament to see what disharmony in the squad can do to you!

The Czech side set out their stall to frustrate and that’s really what they did for long periods of a game that seemed even longer.
Still it had to happen sooner or later, CR7 did what he does best and grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck and bang Portugal are through and the Czechs go home. I’m just glad we didn’t have to watch another 40 fucking minutes of that shit

Germany Vs Greece delivered exactly what I expected. A boring, dirty, stampy sort of a  match from the Greece countered by sheer dominance from Ze Germans. Can’t help but expect more of the same come the Italy game.
Swapping the front three round worked out well and rested a few tired legs ahead of a stiffer test later this week.

England Vs Italy also didn’t contain any real surprises. Balotelli should have killed the game but didn’t and my long awaited penalties finally arrived as of course did the obligatory England collapse… in a tale of two Ashleys both Cole (Twat)  and Young (talentless twat) made a hash of it that sends their country home… again.

So we move on to the penultimate stage of the competition, for me if I look at the groupings I would have to expect Germany to have too much for Italy and would expect that Spain will make easy enough work of Ronaldo and friends.

That said I wouldn’t mind if the obnoxious one did manage to pull something out of his bag of tricks to steer the Portugese through. Would serve Spain right for trying to bore their way to victory!





Euro 2012 Quarterfinals

21 06 2012

Well from tonight onwards we enter the fun stage of Euro 2012.

The group stages were wrapped up on Tuesday evening with England topping their group and France coming through as runners up.

So after a night off we get stuck right in with the first clash taking place in Warsaw tonight

Czech Republic Vs. Portugal

As much as I would love to see a Czech victory here I just can’t overlook the quality that Portugal have available to them with Nani, Veloso, Pepe, Coentrao and of course a certain Cristiano Ronaldo.

That isn’t to say that the Czech’s are toothless, far from it, but talismanic goal scorer Milan Baros has failed to spark so far this tournament and Tomas Rosicky is still carrying a bit of a knock. That said Petr Jiracek has been one of the top performers in the tournament so far, grabbing 2 goals in the opening 3 matches.

Tomorrow night sees the action resume in Gdansk;

Germany Vs. Greece

The second of our quarter finals presents a bit of a “David and Goliath” situation. However on this occasion I am putting my money squarely on Goliath.

Germany were one of my hot favourites before the tournament started and three games in I haven’t seen much to make me alter my views.
Germany are the only team to have picked up all 9 points from the group stage and the Holland match aside, have done so without really having to break a sweat.

Mario Gomez has been in superb form thus far with 3 goals to his name already, 2 of which against Holland were absolute crackers.

I just don’t see the Greeks having the quality to go up against Die Mannschaft in any area of the park. They were lucky in a lot of ways to get out of their group especially as they probably played the worst football out of any of the four teams.

The third quarterfinal takes place on Saturday in Donetsk

Spain Vs. France

Well, well, well isn’t this going to be a veritable feast of football.

In a lot of other years this is a match which could have graced a final, instead we see two of the heavyweights of World and European football going toe to toe in the first of the knock out stages.

I know that you can never base anything on form, particularly in cup football but if we were looking just at the group stages then you would have to say that this is a tough one to call.

Personally I haven’t really fancied Spain, even before the tournament started. There is just something about the way they are playing football at the moment which doesn’t fill me with that sense of awe that has been present in the past when watching them.

Yes Spain have the better players on paper, yes they are current World and European champions and yes they are more than capable of playing some very good football but I can see France tipping it.

Our last installment of  quarterfinal fun comes on Sunday in Kyiv

England Vs. Italy

Not quite the pairing that it might have been in prior years, neither team is what you would think of as a “vintage” side , indeed a lot of people have been saying that this is the worst England side for a number of years and plays a very negative style of football, personally I disagree but I will come to that later.

If I had to choose a word to sum up Italy for me it would be a toss up between dull and mediocre. They have some talented players in the side – Di Natale, Balotelli and Pirlo spring to mind but they made really hard work of their group and were far less value for money than the very unlucky, very spirited Croatians.

As if to prove my point only 1 of Italy’s goals in the group stages actually came about from open play.

As for England, well I am finding it more difficult than usual to dislike the side this year. Sure a few of the old annoyances linger on like Cole, Terry and Gerrard (all good players but just scum) But Hodgson hasn’t been afraid to give time to the likes of Welbeck and Oxlaide -Chamberlain, both of whom have impressed so far.

Whilst it isn’t the flashiest England team of recent years it it probably the most hard working and they look well set up to counter with pace via Young, Walcott and the aforementioned Chamberlain.

With Wayne Rooney back in the side and looking to make up for lost time I could see the Azzurri stumbling in this one.

 





World’s largest lasagne….in Poland?!?!?!

21 06 2012

A Polish restaurant in Krakow has set a new Guinness World Record for cooking the largest ever lasagne to celebrate the Italy footbal team staying nearby.

As we all know Italy are in Poland for the 2012 European soccer Championship and will take on England in the quarter-finals this Sunday.

The monster lasagne weighed in at more than 5.29 tons and took 10 hours to bake before being sliced into 10,000 portions.

“I don’t know about the players or if they will try the lasagne because they are on a diet, but they can try just a little bit,” Trattoria Giancarlo executive chef Giancarlo Russo told reporters.





Some like it hot! – a little update

21 06 2012

So, those who were paying attention will remember that I recently announced the imminent release of my new cookery book – Some like it hot!

Well I figured I would give you a little update on how things are going…
At the moment we are well on track for our scheduled release at the end of July.

The recipes have all been compiled and finalised, pictures have been taken and a lot of very, very tasty food has been consumed!

The only real sticking points have the foreword and the cover. I think I must have gone over each about a dozen times at least!

Still as of late last night I have finally settled on a cover design which I actually like, hoooray!  All that remains now is to polish off the foreword and give everything a quick once over.

Some like it hot! will be available in both Kindle/ebook format and old-school dead tree format via Amazon and selected book stores in the UK and Ireland before gradually spreading from there to conquer the World….

Stay tuned closer to the time for a chance to win some free copies.





Giroud signs for Arsenal….

18 06 2012

Football News: Olivier Giroud France

According to Sky Sports sources Arsenal have reached an agreement with Montpellier for striker Olivier Giroud.

It is understood that Arsenal have agreed to meet the release clause in Giroud’s Montpellier contract, which has variously been reported to be between €12 million and €16m (£9.6-£12.8m).

Arsenal were given the green light to sign the 25-year-old, who is part of Laurent Blanc`s squad at the tournament in Poland and Ukraine, last week by Montpellier after Giroud signalled that he wanted to move to north London.

Giroud, who has two years remaining on his Montpellier contract, has agreed a £50,000-a-week four-year deal, which will treble his current wages of around £15,000-a-week.

If this is indeed the case and I reckon it is Giroud will become Arsenal’s second signing of the close season after Lukas Podolski once the deal is completed.





My Transfer wishlist 2012

18 06 2012

Well, well, well if it isn’t my old friend the transfer window.

Is it really only 6 months since you last reared your ugly head?

I have decided that maybe, just maybe the problem with the transfer window isn’t the rumour-mongering and ridiculous hype. No, maybe it is actually me.

Maybe I am just missing the spirit of the thing and being an old stick in the mud… As such I have decided to sell my soul to the darkside, embrace the crazy and draw up my very own transfer wishlist 2012.

I have tried to be fairly realistic and not just redesigned the team from top to bottom with clones of Messi. Who knows Arsene might even see this (I know you are a fan AW) and decide to run with it.

So without further ado…

OUTS:

Denilson – fairly obvious… has never lived up to potential and is taking up space in the squad what with the 25 man rule.

Park – Who???

Chamakh –  The Moroccan had a decent spell when he first joined the club but the resurgence of RVP and Chamakh’s apparent lack of confidence has hampered both his playing time and his contribution, might be a useful make weight as part of a swap deal.

Arshavin – As much as I would love to see Arshavin come back to the Emirates and show some of the form he has exhibited for Zenit and Russia recently I just don’t see him having the will to do it.

The little meercat is a luxury player who this squad really can”t afford to carry. His decent Euro showing should mean we recoup a good percentage of what we shelled out for him.

Niklas Bendtner – Well whilst he might not be the greatest striker who has ever lived the not so great Dane has had a decent run in the Euros and was Sunderland’s top scorer last year.

I actually think he might have a decent career, just not with Arsenal.

Squillaci – Never really found his feet and looks like he never will, goodbye and good luck squiddy.

Fabianski –  Szcz is the real deal and has been for a while now. His rapid development has really put the final nail in Fabianski”s Arsenal coffin.

The pole in the goal is not happy to play second fiddle and I can perfectly understand that, time to move on.

Vela – A decent showing whilst on loan should mean it is finally time to say goodbye to Mr Chips.

Mannone – See Fabianski

Johan Djourou –  Djourou wants first team football and lets face it, he is very definetely 4th choice at the Emirates behind, Kos, TV5 and Mertesacker. I say let him go and have his chance elsewhere, especially as we can still get

Bartley, Botelho & Lansbury –  As much as I hate to write anyone off, particularly Lansbury, I just don’t see any of these 3 cutting it. Time to let them move on and ply their wares in pastures new.

Frimpong –  Now before you get all uppity about selling our talented younglings I am not about to advocate selling Frimpong, simply sending him out on loan for the season. I reckon a year long stint under the tutelage of someone like Owen Coyle would do the youngster the power of good.

And now for the fun bit…

IN:

Olivier Giroud – Unlike a lot of people I am not just jumping on the Giroud bandwagon because it looks like it might actually happen!

Now that I have cleared that point up let me explain why I think he would be a great signing…

Giroud is 25 so should hopefully be over some of the adjustment that young footballs seem to go through in terms of being a bit of a dick, he is 6 ft 4 and strong in the air and seems to hold the ball up well so might actually do the job that was asked of Chamakh and Bendtner in terms of giving us a plan b.

He scores goals…. quite a lot on them in fact, he bagged 25 in 43 appearances for Montpellier last season (making him joint top score in Ligue 1)along with 9 assists. I think most people would agree that is impressive enough to warrant some serious interest

Benyaoun –  I don’t think there is any coincidence that 3 of our best midfielders last year were all over 30 (Arteta, Rosicky and Benyaoun) Benyaoun is pretty much the definition of professionalism, even when he wasn’t getting many oppurtunities he trained hard, stayed positive and took his chances when they came.

In my not so humble opinion Benny is exactly the sort of player we have lacked in recent years, level headed, calm, experienced and hard working. Throw in the fact that any fee would be negligible  and I think you would have to agree that Benyaoun would surely be a better option than say Denilson.

Jose Bosingwa –  Two times Champions League winner Bosingwa hasn’t always had the best of times at Chelsea resulting in him being released at the end of last season.

Personally I reckon that should Wenger take a gamble on him it might just be one that pays off…. At 29 Bosingwa has got to be looking at his last big payday, much like a certain Dutchman we all know and love, and might well be convinced to try and prove to his former employees that he can still cut it at the top level.

At the least he would provide a more than capable option which might allow us to rotate a bit more freely than we have in recent years.

Joel Campbell – Yes I know we have already signed him but after a decent season at Lorient I would really like to see Campbell given a chance in the first team for us next term, work permit pending of course.

He is young, quick, has good feet and seems to know where the net is. The sooner we bring him under Wenger’s wing and let him start getting used to the Arsenal way of doing things the sooner he will start to deliver. Particularly as for the first time in years we might just have a decent attacking line meaning that the pressure would be off to some extent.

Junior Hoilett – Junior Hoilett is an elusive dribbler, who is just as good behind the forward as he is out wide. He’ll come for free, he’s only 21  and looked impressive last season so why not sign him?

Julien Féret – 29 year old Feret from Rennes could be just what we need as an attacking midfielder not only is he capable of playing some extraordinary football – he scored four goals and provided four assists in a six-game stretch,but he would provide some competition for Rosicky and is the perfect age to fill the position without hindering the long termof younger options like Ramsey and Wilshere.

With his 6’2″ frame, he has the physicality to shrug off opposing players whilst making pin-point passes. Yoann Gourcuff or Féret? Féret every day of the week.

Yann M’villa – Another deal that looks like it might just happen M’villa could well be the key to Arsenal managing to close the gap on the two Manchester sides this year.

The 21 year old plays with a certainty that belies his young age and has a fearless style and physical presence that could go a long way to adding some steel to Arsenal’s spine.

I have argued for a while now that Alex Song isn’t actually a defensive midfielder, he just happens to be the most defensive of our midfield options. M’villa would give us what Song sometimes doesn’t quite manage to deliver….

Genuine cover for the defense and a tough tackler who is more than happy to sit back and pull the strings without feeling the urge to bomb forward at every chance.

 

Do I think that all of these will happen, nope.

Realistically I can see M’villa and Giroud coming after the Euros and maybe one other midfielder.

If I had to pick I would go with Feret but obviously I don’t have that luxury. I can see Wenger taking a gamble on Miguel as fourth choice centre back which might just pay off but personally I hope he continues to ease him into the role.

 





Rack Of Doom

17 06 2012

Meet Claire Smedley, a 27 year-old British woman from Blackpool, who almost killed her boyfriend.

She didn’t try to stab him because he was cheating on her or anything to that effect.

No, instead Claire nearly suffocated then lover Michael with her 40LL boobs.
The couple were fooling around with her breasts in his face when all of a sudden Smedley realized Michael–the boyfriend wasn’t breathing. Naturally, she panicked. Luckily for her, he came to after a second. When asked about his near-demise, Michael had this to say:

“I did think my time had come. I tried to slap her on her arm to get her to stop and get off me but I think she misread the signals. The next thing I knew she was sitting over me asking if I was all right. I must have blacked out. It was pretty hair-raising.”

The two broke up after the near-death experience because Michael was turned off by sex from then on.

I don’t know about you but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say a lot of guys would be perfectly happy if they knew there last moments would be spent with their face in some woman’s tits….

The mum of three makes the most of her massive assets by modelling under the name “Madison Blush”








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