Worst goalie kit ever…

20 07 2011

I am sat here in complete shock and awe this morning.

Not because Arsene Wenger has blown 100mil on 3 world class signings or because I have won the Euromillions but because of this…

Handy for away matches in Afghanistan

It is of course the Everton goalkeeper kit for the 2011/2012 season and it is quite frankly shit.

Camouflage undoubtedly has many many uses however I am really not sure it has any place on the football pitch. I just really cant work out what the point is maybe Everton are hoping to gain a new found fan base in the armed forces??

Just in case you aren’t convinced of how shit this really is here is a picture of Tim Howard completely failing to blend into the background.





Joel Campbell rejects Arsenal

20 07 2011

Joel Campbell scanning the horizon for cash

Depending on how much of an alcoholic you are (says the man who reviews beer!) you may or may not remember the weekend.

If you are somehow able to recall what happened a few days /pints ago you might remember the assured tone taken by many “respected” sources as regards the “signing” of Costa Rican international striker Joel Campbell.

We were told that a fee had been agreed and that there was even an agreement in principle between Arsenal and the player, his own father/agent/twat, Humberto Campbell, told us that they were thrilled and everything would be signed, sealed and delivered within the next 24 hours.

Magically the next morning everything had changed, quelle fucking surprise, now we were hearing how other offers had arrived from a host of European clubs and that whilst Arsenal were in “pole position” nothing was in the bag just yet.

Fast forward a few days and we are now told by Campbell senior that his son will be staying with current club Deporivo Saprissa for the foreseeable future in order to focus on the Under 20 World Cup in Colombia.

Apparently there are offers on the table that need to be analyzed and that they will negotiate after the world cup, in his own words “We hope to go to the World Cup and that Joel plays well without pressure. We’ll see what happens.”

Now whilst this is an admirable line for his father/agent to take it does rather fly in the face of his prior dealings and comments….

In fact reading between the lines one might be inclined to believe that what he is really hoping for is that his little darling has an impressive World Cup and that all of a sudden clubs cheque books fly open like a whores legs.

Juan Carlos Rojas the president of his son’s current club had this to say on the matter:

“It’s disappointing for football, for Saprissa that these people have not taken Arsenal’s offer seriously,” explained Rojas.

“I assume the father thinks things will get better after the decision, but there’s always a risk.”

Hmmm… seems I’m not the only person who hears the pitter patter of greedy feet. Personally I hope the whole venture backfires terribly for him, if there is one thing Arsenal doesn’t need it is more money grabbing cunts/agents and their sneaky tricks.





Woman dies after dog sex in Ireland

19 07 2011

43-year-old mother of four died after suffering a massive allergic reaction to dog semen

The woman, a mother of four children, suffered the reaction to the dog’s semen after willingly engaging in sex acts with an  Alsatian dog in county Limerick, Ireland

The woman died in October 2008, shortly after intercourse with the dog, and after a three-year investigation it was confirmed that her death occurred due to an adverse reaction suffered after having sex with the animal.

A source told The Star last night that the unfortunate woman involved came in contact with a man who provided the dog on an internet chatroom.

“Both these people would have been visiting bestiality websites and at some stage it appears they agreed to meet up for sex,” the source said.

“The Alsatian then entered the picture and it appears that intercourse took place between the lady in question and the dog on the night that she died.”

Disturbingly, the source added that the dog “appeared to have been groomed” to have sex with women.

Ok so a few things here… firstly WHY? secondly WHY? oh and WHY? ….Risk of adverse reaction to dog spunk aside I just don’t get why anyone would want to f*ck a dog

Still that’s Limerick City

 





Dear Barca

18 07 2011

Dear Barca,

I could write a lengthy, witty piece about how your attempts to unsettle and sign our club captain are not only insulting but are reaching a point where you are just starting to look like repetitive fools.

However I am not going to do any of that, there have been tens of thousands of words written about your sneaky underhand behaviour and the coverage is getting almost as tiresome as your attempts. Nothing I am going to write here would change things a jot.

However it has often been said that a picture paints a thousand words; as such I am going to hand things over to some Chinese Arsenal fans who have managed to capture my sentiments perfectly.

Barce pay £40m take Cesc away or go home to wank’

 





How to lose your breakfast….

17 07 2011

I’m not sure I need any words for this…. really I’m not.

 





Duvel double pack

17 07 2011

A few weeks back I wrote about the Maredsous and Chimay triple packs that have recently reappeared in our local off licence.

Well hot on their tasty little heels is a new arrival; the Duvel double pack with glass goblet…

 

The glass is great… odd as it sounds to say that it really is, anyone who hasn’t tried Duvel from one of these chalices/goblets is really missing out, the flavours open up a lot and a beer that is already great becomes truly excellent -you can read my review of Duvel here.

The price on this was particularly good, I paid €6.25 which seems like a little bit of a steal when you work out that each bottle of Duvel by itself is €3.80 and that last time the goblets were in stock they wanted a whopping €7.50 for them





Welcome Gervinho

11 07 2011

Well my beloved Arsenal are finally off the mark with a meaningful transfer and in usual Arsenal fashion it is the worst kept secret of the summer….

Gervinho

 

Headed goals anyone…





World’s largest burger revisited….

11 07 2011

As we all know records are there to be broken, no matter how nasty, pointless or completely wasteful the attempt might be.

Well a few months back I wrote about the World’s Largest Burger which weighed in at around 95kg…well  this has been beaten…twice.

In May this year Canadian “Food Entertainer”  Ted Reader created this monstrosity…

 

Which as you can see weighed in at an Earth shattering 590 pounds (267.6 kilograms) … that is nearly 3 times the weight of the prior champion.

 

Well the USA were not about to be outdone by their northern neighbours, particularly not in a race to have a giant food item.

So without further ado I give you the new reigning champion….

This “appetising” giant tops the charts at a heart stopping 777lbs, that doesn’t just beat the competition it annihilates it.

The burger in question was cooked at the Alameda County fair and  included a 110lb bun, 20lbs of onions, 12lbs of pickles and 30lbs of lettuce…OH and1,375,000 calories – enough to feed one person for almost two years.

Apparently proceeds from the sale of the burger went to a local food bank… one wonders whether they couldn’t have just given the actual food.





PIco de Gallo / Salsa Fresca

11 07 2011

 Quite simply Pico de Gallo is the freshest, cleanest, most delicious condiment you could wish for to accompany Mexican food or indeed anything that could do with something light and zingy alongside.

   Ingredients:

2x  Tomatoes

2x White onions

1x Red Chilli – I use Habanero or Scotch bonnet but its completely up to you and the level of heat would desire

a good handful of fresh coriander leaves

the juice of 1 lime

sea salt to season

Method:

Chop the onion and chilli into fine dice and place into a bowl.

De-seed the tomatoes and dice the flesh.

Finely chop the coriander and combine together with the onions, chilli and tomatoes. ensure that everything is well worked together and squeeze over the juice of 1 lime.

Season to taste with a little sea salt.

 

 

 

 

 





Pleasure and Pain – Divine Torture Hot Sauce

1 07 2011

It has been a while since  I have last been excited about a new hot sauce being released…the very fact that I find hot sauce releases to be exciting suggests that I may possibly have a diseased mind but moving swiftly on.

Divine Torture is the first super hot sauce from Pleasure and Pain and is being produced in small batches of just 50 bottles a time…how is that for exclusivity!

The manufacturers blurb sounds quite interesting –

” Developing our own super hot sauce has been no easy task and quite frankly the tasting sessions alone have almost killed us, but the result is something we are all very proud of. Foxy has devoted the last 12 months to creating, quite literally, lava in a bottle. Using Scotch Bonnet and Naga chillies and two different varieties of chilli extract to intensify both the immediate and secondary burn this is something not to be trifled with. “

At less than a tenner a bottle my order has already been placed…expect to see a review coming as soon as the postman can deliver.








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